Five ways to cherish your loved one's memory

The article outlines five heartfelt and emotionally supportive ways to cherish the memory of a loved one after their passing. These include writing a farewell letter to express unspoken thoughts, creating a music playlist of songs tied to their memory, and assembling a memory album or collage with meaningful photos. It also encourages practicing mindfulness and contemplation to reflect on emotions, and having spoken conversations with the deceased to maintain a sense of connection. Each method serves as a therapeutic tool to help navigate grief, offering personal, creative, and healing ways to honor and remember those we’ve lost.

Introduction

After the loss of a loved one, the ensuing grief can strike in a variety of ways. Being emotional becomes the norm rather than the exception. It is not acceptable for anyone to dictate how the grieving individual should feel or act. Rituals such as memorial services and funerals bring a modicum of comfort to an otherwise dark and despairing circumstance. These rituals give the grieving family, friends and co-workers an opportunity to gather together and hold a celebration of the loved one’s life.

In this article, we will explore five ways to cherish your loved ones memory in which someone can remember a deceased loved one.

1. A farewell letter

In case you did not have the opportunity to say goodbye to your loved one or feel that you did not say something important that needed to be said then a farewell letter is a good way of dealing with these feelings of regret, loss and sadness while at the same time cherishing your loved ones memory. You could write a letter to your deceased loved one telling them all the things you wish you could have told them when they were alive. This will help you to get rid of past grievances or to resolve any feelings of guilt that you may have. You could write a thank you letter to them, thanking them for all the good times, good memories and all good they did while they were alive. Writing a farewell letter can be quite therapeutic and can help you deal with the grief that comes with losing a loved one.

Michael B. Jordan, the actor who co-starred with Chadwick Boseman in Black Panther, wrote a powerful farewell letter to the Black Panther star. He wrote: “I wish we had more time. One of the last times we spoke, you said we were forever linked, and now the truth of that means more to me than ever.”

2. Music: A playlist or a special song

You can put together a special playlist featuring songs that your loved one liked or you can put together a playlist of songs that remind you of your loved one. Music in and of itself is a powerful healing tool. Music that is directly connected to memories of your loved one is not only healing but is also like a monument to your loved one built of notes, lyrics and instruments. The Kenyan rock band “Last Year’s Tragedy” dedicated their song “March from the underground” to their beloved friend, Bandu.

3. Create a memory album or collage

This is a great way, especially for those who are artistically inclined. However, one does not need to be a Picasso to remember their loved one this way. The goal is to memorialize your loved one, not perfection. You can decide to create a physical one or a digital one or even both.

First, collect all the photos you have of your loved one. Next, sort them out in terms of theme, year, events or even just by the way certain photos make you feel. For a physical memory album or collage, you can rip strips of coloured construction paper or tissue paper then glue them in layers to add a beautiful frame for the photos. While the finished product may pleasantly surprise you and fill you with warmth and a sense of achievement, it is actually the process of sorting out the photos and creating the memory album or collage that is most important. The act of creating it is in and of itself therapeutic.

4. Mindfulness/Contemplation

“It is necessary...for a man to go away by himself...to sit on a rock...and ask, “Who am I, where have I been, and where am I going?” - Carl Sandburg

Set time aside to just think back on all the good times you had with your loved ones. Also, create room in your head to process and to analyze all that you are feeling. Set aside a few minutes to just sit and think. Alternatively, you can take a walk alone, allowing yourself to interact with your thoughts. Take stock of how you are feeling and do not allow yourself to feel guilty because of any of the feelings. The aim is to be honest with how you are feeling not to censor the feelings. Any feeling you feel during the grieving process is valid. In case you begin to feel overwhelmed, practice deep breathing to calm down. Take a break and make a date with yourself to revisit that emotion when you are ready to deal with it.

5. Have a conversation with your loved one

People have been talking to their deceased loved ones since time immemorial. It can be quite comforting to talk to them about either important things or just general everyday, mundane things. It’s not so much what is said but the action of just talking to them that is important. Yes, your loved one is gone but there is no reason to not update them on what is going on in your life or how you are feeling about them not being around anymore. You know how they would respond to your thoughts so do not be afraid to speak your thoughts out loud to them. This is similar to writing a letter to your loved one. The aim is not to get a response. The aim is to vocalize your thoughts.

In Otsuchi, Japan, bereaved individuals talked to their deceased loved ones via a white, disconnected phone booth called the Wind Phone. It was located up on the hill above this town which had been struck by both an earthquake and tsunami.

Conclusion

In this article, we have looked at only five ways to cherish your loved one’s memory. There are many more ways you can explore. There is no limit to how you can creatively cherish your loved one’s memory. Depending on your personality, skills, interests, available resources and commitment level, you can go all out and cherish your loved one’s memory in a way that most appeals to you.